An Obvious Method of 'Doing Him'
by Dr Megalomania
Summary: Disaster strikes and finally, Heero makes Duo do something about it. The final (who am I kidding) installment of the awfully named "Doing" series.


**Disclaimer**: I won't insult your intelligence, you know the score.

**Rating**: PG

**Warnings**: Mild use of foul Language.

**Notes**: Written as a final piece to the most uncomfortably named series "Doing". I don't intend to write another, but I never intended to write the second, third, fourth, fifth or sixth either. This series just seems to keep going. Who knows. Largely written as a sort of warm-up exercise for my next multi-chapter story. I'm sorry but not really sorry for the awful dialogue. Karen Rose is magnificent, and I love her books – even though they are trashy as hell. Set comfortably after the Mariemaia wars.

**Synopsis**: Heero finally gets to get Duo to do something about it.

**Category**: Mild shounen-ai (boy's love) at the most. Vague humour.

_Definitions:_

**Do Him/Her.** Emphasis on "do". _Doooo hi'm/h'er_

The encouragement of obeying apparent sexual desire. To skip over senseless/over elaborate romantic gestures/setting and head straight into HAWT sexual relations. Often used by yaoi/yuri fangirls, annoyed by elaborate angst riddled plots, when the obvious answer to all characters' problems would be a good session engaged in sexual activity. 1. Just DO him. 2. Will you get over yourself, and DO her! 3. You should tie him up and DO him!

* * *

**An Obvious Method of 'Doing Him'**

By Doc Megalomania

* * *

When it started to rain, Heero finally blinked. He had been staring for so long, mesmerised by the flames. Someone had flung a blanket around his bare shoulders. He held his laptop to his chest tightly as if it were keeping him afloat. Around him, other residents were frantic. Some were crying, some were shouting. The emergency forces had arrived in good time, but the fire had been fierce. Heero had been sleeping in his lazy boy, and it was the sound of the ceiling collapsing in his bedroom and the wail of the alarms that had probably saved his life. With the room already dark with smoke and the floors above creaking ominously, Heero had little time to do anything other than dash out of the apartment.

It was only later he had realised that he'd picked up his laptop and his go-bag on the way out. The bag was now by his feet where he'd dropped it. Ash fluttered down all around him, mixing with the rain. The fire had clearly started some two floors above him, but it had spread quickly. His home gone. It had been such a long day. He hadn't expected it to end like this.

A paramedic approached him, tapping him on the shoulder. She held out a phone. "Do you need to call anyone, sir?"

Heero stared at the phone. He reached out and took it. He sank down to sit on his bag, and dialled. The phone rang twice before the sleepy voice accused, "Whatever you're selling, I'm not buying it at 3am."

"Duo, it's me." Heero blinked slowly. "I'm..." Heero looked up at the paramedic, who knelt down to crouch by him. The older woman reached out slowly and plucked the phone from Heero's limp hand. She put the phone on speaker and balanced it on her knee as she reached out to steady the young man in front of her.

"Hello? Who is this?"

"Heero? What, wait —Who is this?"

"I'm a paramedic, sir. Your friend is fine." The paramedic tilted her head. "Sir, who are I speaking with?

"I'm his partner in the Preventers."

The paramedic looked down at the bag by Heero. "That explains the go-bag. Sir, I need a name to go on records."

"I'm Duo Maxwell, you've got Heero Yuy. Why can't I speak to him?"

"He's having an acute stress reaction, sir." The paramedic looked at Heero. The young man was staring at the apartment block, his shoulders were trembling and his lips were taking a pale shade. "His apartment block is currently on fire. I'm taking your friend to St Michaels. Do you know it?"

There was a brief silence, "I'll meet you there."

Later, Heero was surprised by how easily the paramedic manoeuvred him into the ambulance, and how swiftly the ride passed. He was sitting on the edge of a bed, being checked over by a doctor when Duo arrived. Heero was moved to a private room, and was tucked up under blankets. The decision to keep him in observation until morning was an easy one to make. Heero stared at the end of his bed. Duo came back into the room, holding two take away cups. He put one down by Heero, not yet trusting the man to be able to hold anything just yet. Heero was pale and dazed.

"Hey buddy," Duo sat down in a chair nearby. "How are you doing?"

Heero blinked, he turned and stared at Duo for a long moment. He blinked again, and the trembling came back for a brief moment before Heero squeezed his eyes shut and the trembling came to an abrupt stop. "I've ..." Heero's voice was soft, unsure, "I've blown myself up without blinking, and I've blown several buildings up." He opened his eyes and looked at Duo. "Without needing to be hospitalised."

"Yeah, but none of those things were where you had been living..." Duo paused, and looked at Heero slyly, Except for the gundam. I swear that was my home for the wars."

Heero smiled faintly, "Yeah."

Duo turned the seat, and toed off his boots. He put his feet up on the bed. His feet were bare, revealing the rush he had been in. "Look," Duo said, lying back as best he could in the chair, "It's like, really late, early, late... Early? 5-something-AM, and we totally need to get some sleep." He smiled at Heero, "Don't worry, buddy. You get to sleeping." He dug out his mobile phone and waved it before putting it on the nearby table, "I've already let Une know, and I've told the guys already. Wufei and Trowa are going to head over to yours when the fire's out and Quatre's flying in from L4."

Heero frowned, "I'm only in for observation. They don't hav-"

Duo laughed, "But dude, you know they will." He slouched further down in his chair, and tried to get comfortable. He yawned. "Try to sleep." He picked up his cup and sipped from it. He pointed towards the cup near Heero. "Hot chocolate, in case you need to calm your nerves." Duo reached into his pocket and pulled out his battered e-book reader. Heero watched him for a while and nursed his own hot chocolate. Leaning back to get comfortable, he sipped his drink and felt the tension in his back unwind. Duo's presence helped a lot, and Heero glanced at him as the other sat reading. Duo had an unconscious smile on his face, as he was engrossed in what he was reading.

Heero sipped his drink slowly, and then asked, "What are you reading?"

Duo didn't bother to even look up from his book, his voice almost sly, "Do you really want to know?"

"N—" Heero stopped the automatic answer, "Yes."

Duo looked up at him, eye brows rising. "Seriously, you know what I like reading, right?"

"Yes, yes I do." Heero felt a hazy chuckle bubble up in his chest, "I know exactly what you like to read."

"So, you know what you're asking for then." Duo laughed quietly and then he smiled brightly, "You're not going to thank me."

"I sincerely doubt I will." Heero shrugged and smirked back, "but I'm not tired yet, so hopefully it will be so ridiculously bad that I'll want to knock myself out."

"That's the spirit." Duo held up the e-reader, "So, there's this girl, right? And she's totally being stalked by a killer, but she doesn't know it yet."

"You do already?" Heero refrained from rolling his eyes, his slightly drugged mind trying to recall which other of Duo's awful books this sounded like.

"I read all of the trashy novels. They're always being stalked by some kind of crazy." Duo waved his hand, "Anyway, she finds this body, and she's the ME. Anyway she meets the homicide dude and he's all hunky but untouchable..." Duo dropped his feet off the bed and pulled the chair closer. He folded his arms on Heero's bed and rested his chin on his arms. "He's like totally been heartbroken because the love of his life died like x number of years ago. He meets her and is like, POW. And she sees him and it's like, KABOOM. But they don't say anything about because they need to find the killer and she's all cold on the outside because she needs to get the job done."

Heero stared at him. "You really enjoy reading that?"

Duo's smile was warm, "Totally. Guaranteed happy endings." He sighed happily, "The guy always gets his girl, the bad guy goes away, someone dies horribly."

Remembering Duo's bookshelf, Heero frowned, "I thought you liked trashy romantic novels."

"I also like trashy crime novels. It's so cool!" Duo tapped the e-reader, "They've already had two bodies, and the ME knows things but can't tell the Police hunk because he might think less of her. He's actually thinking about how amazing her legs are, and just wishes there was a break in the case so he can 'go over the case's details with her... in detail', if you know what I mean?"

"Sloppy police work, awful dialogue and meeting someone's eyes with a comic book sound effect?"

"Yep. Totally does it for me." Duo smiled up at him. He paused for a moment before he said in an off-handed manner, "So, it's not Relena then."

It took Heero a few moments to understand what Duo was talking about. Understanding went off like a flash in his head. Heero shook his head. "No."

"Damn, I was so sure." Duo looked at Heero, tilting his head. "So, which lift should I have broken down?"

"You still don't know?" Heero frowned. Duo shrugged at the question and picked up his e-book again.

"Hey, I'm totally not a mind reader. I just do body language." Duo made a vague motion with his free hand. "You might not have been giving the right signals, but Relena did—"

"When we were 15." Heero's frown grew deeper, "What do you mean, not the right signals?"

Duo huffed, "You never give out the right signals. It took me a really long time to decipher you, and I still am not entirely sure when you are bored or just frustrated." Duo propped his e-reader against Heero's leg, and resumed reading from his slightly awkward position. "You always look like you're in love, but I can't for the life of me figure out who with." He lifted a finger to flick the page on. "I mean, you gotta keep trying, man. If you wanna resolve this situation, you gotta do something, gotta keep trying."

"Do I?" Heero set his drink aside. "What if I'm happy with the situation as it currently stands?"

"Happy with the situation?" Duo glanced up from his book, "You're happy with the situation?" He pulled a face, returning to his book. "You're not getting any!" He glanced up, "Seriously?" Duo held up his hands, "Instead of your admittedly devilishly handsome Preventers Partner, you could currently have the one you're all warm and fuzzy over, right here, right now. In fact, you probably woulda been happily –" he made a complicated motion with both hands – "you know, in your bed. Know what I'm saying? In fact, you coulda been at her place."

"Her place?"

"Yeah, no girl's gonna wanna do it in your bed, man. I've slept in your bed, it sucks, man. The mattress is all hard, and not at all conductive to the right amount of bounce that you wanna achieve if you're –" here, he made another complicated motion with both hands – "You know? So, yeah, you'd probably been at hers."

Heero thought for a long moment. Long enough that Duo nodded to himself, and resumed reading. He at least knew enough about Heero to know when he was thinking hard about something. Duo continued enjoying his book, slipping further into the awful narrative of his story.

"Probably not." Duo blinked and looked up at Heero. The other man looked at his own hands resting on the covers before raising his head. "He doesn't really like his own place. I don't like it either. It's not as nice as mine."

Heero watched the emotions almost flit over Duo's expressive face. The way his kind eyes froze for a moment, the smile curling – dying – then curling back on to the corner of his lip. "So..." Duo picked up his e-reader, nonchalantly pretending to think, "Hmmm... Mike from records?"

"Who?"

"You know, Mike from records, he works with Cindy." Duo's smile turned lopsided at Heero's continued look of confusion. "He's the blonde one that looks like Relena if you can catch him in the right light. You... you, uh, always hold the door open for him."

The look of confusion cleared slightly, "You mean that guy who's always on his way back from lunch?"

"Yeah." Duo smiled, "That's the one."

"On his way back from lunch, when we're often collecting records from Cindy when her office mate is out for lunch." Heero leant his head back, "Because you always need a file from records, when Cindy is free and I have to be the one who asks for it because you always forget the code for it. So I have to be the one to talk to Cindy from records because, for the past year, you've been trying to hook us up?"

"Hmm, didn't think you'd picked up on that." Duo half shrugged, and flicked his e-reader. "So, Mike then?"

"Who?"

Duo flicked his eyes up at Heero and caught a tiny smirk. "You player. Don't mess with me." He sniffed and returned to his book, "Okay, so we've established it's not Mike from records... but dude, you gotta know your eyes are all melty when you're holding that door open." He flicked another page, frowned and flicked back. Duo read for a moment, before nodding and resuming his sentence. "Where was I? Oh, yeah. Melty. Like the love of your life is walking through those goddamn doors, and you're all gooey over him." He glanced at Heero, "When I'm walking through that door, I keep looking over my shoulder, and all I've got is Cindy and now Mike from records..." He frowned, "but since you're gay, it's not Cindy." He sighed, "And we've just established it's not Mike..."

Duo blinked. He straightened up. "Whoa."

Heero would later describe the moment in less romantic terms, but at that moment, he watched the realisation dawn across Duo's face like a beautiful sunrise. It was slow, creeping first across his brow, then through his eyes. The delight came next, curling into a familiar smile. Then he watched the self-doubt click in, and Duo shook his head of the brief notion that Heero had meant him. Duo's normal neutral expression kicked back in and he casually began reading his book.

Heero sipped his cooling drink and smiled fondly. "You figured something out?"

"Nah..." Duo snorted to himself, "Just the usual mixed signals."

Heero rolled his eyes. "Just talk to me."

"What?"

"Talk to me." Heero rested his head back, and stared at the ceiling. "We've been blown up, we've shot each other, thrown ourselves out of windows. We even fell down a mountain during our last holiday – we survived all that. You can survive just talking to me."

Duo stared at Heero for the longest time. The sounds of the hospital seemed unnecessarily loud to Heero. Duo raised a hand and ran it through his fringe, pausing to scratch the back of his head. He sighed. "Fine." He put his cup of hot chocolate aside and took a deep breath. He braced, winced and then asked in a strangely unconfident voice: "Is... it me?"

"Yes."

"What." Duo's normal loud voice resumed, but his face was comically frozen in shock.

"Of course, it's you."

"What?"

Heero rolled his eyes, "I'm not repeating myself."

"What!" Duo gave a weird aborted chuckle before rapidly sobering. "Wait. You." He pointed at Heero and then himself. "Wait." An expression of complete disbelief scrunched up his face. "You like me? Like... _like_, like me."

Heero settled back and just enjoyed the happy expression as it rippled over Duo's expressive face. The way his smile went from surprise to disbelief to just plain happy. The way his eyes unfocused and crossed, and then narrowed.

"Wait." Duo tilted his head, his voice accusing. "You don't like it when I'm being all accidently sexy in the shower when I whoops-silly-me leave the door open."

"You leave your wet towels everywhere." Heero curled his lip, "and you never wipe down the tiles."

"Oh. That's not what you're supposed to be thinking..." Duo thought for a moment, "And you hate getting me off your couch at the end of the day."

"I've got to be at work in eight hours and it's been a long day and you've eaten all of the leftovers that I was going to eat." Heero raised an eyebrow, "You're cute, but not so cute at midnight."

Duo rolled his eyes, "You're supposed to invite me to sleep somewhere more comfortable. You know? Like your bed?"

"Was I?" Heero snorted, "Is that how it happens in the book?"

"That is how it happens in the book." Duo picked up his e-reader and waved it at Heero, "Because you know, me and you – we're..." Pausing, he frowned, "Did you know I like you?"

"Statistically speaking, it's impossible you'd forget to close the door to the shower that often." At Duo's continued disbelieving look, Heero glanced at the door and half shrugged before admitting, "I had some help. It was the cupcakes four years ago."

Duo winced, "Wufei told you, didn't he?"

"He may have pointed it out... that time you bought me chocolate cupcakes on Valentine's, he mentioned that it was customary to give gifts like that to your loved ones." Heero looked at his hands, "I wasn't sure how to reciprocate, but I did analyse my own feelings from that point onwards. By the time I'd come to the conclusion that my feelings were deeper, you'd stopped displaying such things."

"Oh." Duo fiddled with his e-reader for a moment, and then shrugged. "Well, just so you know, I _like _like you."

"I know. I like you too." He reached out and lightly tapped Duo's forehead between the eyes, "You look at me and sometimes it really is, like 'Kapow'."

Duo's smile was wide as he nodded, "Yeah, sometimes you make me feel, like Boom! So... uh. Which lift should I have broken down?"

"Obviously, one with you in it." Heero rolled his eyes, "Next time you whoops-silly-me leave the door open to the shower, what should I actually be thinking?"

"Maybe, you should be enjoying the show. And next time I forget to leave before the last bus..."

"Maybe you should spend an uncomfortable night on my hard mattress?" Heero paused and blinked, "Oh... I need a new mattress."

"Oh, well... you could come stay with me?"

Heero snorted and closed his eyes, "There's a reason you're always at mine."

"Yeah, there is that." Duo's voice was low, "But you know, we could look for a new place together."

"Okay."

"Okay." Duo glanced at Heero, the other man's eyes were still shut. Duo watched as Heero's breathing evened out. He picked up his e-reader and shifted to prop his feet up on the bed. Propping his elbow on the armrest, Duo got comfortable as Heero dozed. His book really was awful, the dialogue was gut-wrenchingly predictable but... Duo glanced at Heero again. Later, Duo would always try to think of this moment in less sappy terms...

But he was glad to have his own guaranteed happy ending at last.

Heero's nose wrinkled in his sleep as he muttered, "Get your feet off my bed, Duo."

* * *

_You cannot find peace by avoiding life _

(Virginia Woolf)


End file.
